Senior and home-care giver: A very special bond of care

The relationship between the patient and home-care giver plays a crucial role during the recovery phase. Read on.

Glioblastoma Multiforme and after

“Everything that you see in this house is by my mother”, says Hussein, son of Roshanara Malik.

As a millennial, I don’t often think about my parents needing full-time care. Not immediately at least. But ill health creeps up on our loved ones. And suddenly we realise that we have to fill some very big shoes. The same happened with Hussein and his siblings. This was when their mother was diagnosed with Glioblastoma Multiforme. The brain tumour left her paralysed on the right side of her body. Roshanara Malik,  once singlehandedly managed her household. Sadly, she now needed her children’s help with her basic chores.

When a young parent suffers from a debilitating health event such as a brain tumour, the aftermath can often be not one single jolt but a series of sustained shocks over a long period of time. And that keeps affecting the children who become caregivers. At first, one feels unmoored and wants to be the example of filial piety. But real-life slowly starts to set in. With a condition like full-body paralysis, one realises that the little everyday activities that we so take for granted are the ones that take up the most of our time and attention. For children who become caregivers to their parents, this role reversal can be very distressing. This is especially true when they are used to a very independent and multi-tasking pre-illness version of their parent. This was the case with Roshanara Malik’s children.

Hiring a professional home-care giver

Hussein describes the period after his mother was discharged from the hospital after her surgery. “My mother used to take care of everything in our home. When we were young, my father travelled a lot for work. So it was mom who nurtured this family”. Becoming a caregiver meant not only looking after their mother’s needs. It also meant taking over some of her previous responsibilities. It was in this period that Hussein and his siblings decided that they needed someone who could manage their mother’s Activities of Daily Living.

Hiring a professional caregiver allowed the Maliks to expand their focus. Hussein says, “After we got a caregiver, we were able to go out and speak with other doctors. And see what else we could do to improve her experience. We got her some canvas, so she could resume painting. She now paints with her left hand. We were able to spend quality time with her. That is something that Life Circle has enabled us to do”.

Significance of having a professional home-care giver

While the Maliks are on the path to acceptance with respect to their mother’s condition, they are quite happy with their current caregiver Kamala. Hussein says, “I think because she is close to my mother in age and very patient, they are able to bond together. Kamala aunty has a knack of understanding my mother”.

Oftentimes, having a professional caregiver can allow us a little peace of mind. It allows us to shift focus from the routine to the important, relationship and emotional care that only we can give our parents.

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